How many people come to you and say “let it go” when you are facing problem ?
How many people that say “let it go” really do the same thing when they are facing problem?
– tens? no less maybe than that?
Sometimes, it is easier for us to say “just let it go” but we are really holding something back.
I admit that, sometimes I do that too, however, these past few months had teach me a lesson :
You have to let go things that are holding you back from people you love.
Few months ago, I was experienced stress when I supposed to be in the happiest moment of my life. Aren’t you supposed to be happy when you’re in love?
Well, I fell for this guy. We were not in a relationship yet, but we were close like we were about to commit a relationship. We knew each other less than a month. However, it was very intense for us to saw each other almost everyday. We talked about how we would do for the future. We had the same perspective that a relationship is a long-term commitment which will lead to a marriage. He was a really nice guy and I thought I would end up with him.
On the other side, I had a lot of things in mind. I felt that he took my world. He didn’t like me seeing my friends, especially boys even though he said it was fine. He always said that he wanted to see my friends but he never did. It always ended up me seeing his friends. It’s not that I don’t like seeing his friend, I enjoyed every minute of it, but why can’t he do the same thing like me?
Not only I stop seeing my friends, I barely have a little time for myself too. As a matter of fact, my relationship between me and my parents became my concern. My parents told me to slow things down between me and him which was exactly what I want. I told him the same thing. To be in a relationship, I would like to wait for a month or more. I would like to have more time to know him first. My weekly family dinner messed up because I had to accompany him every weekend. Basically, he stole my world and it became his world. I was deeply in stress.
The first solution came to my mind was we need to talk about it. I was pretty open with him. Every time I had problem, I talked to him. We came up with a solution, but he didn’t do much effort to fix our problem. My friends started to complain about him and gave me some advices, so did my parents and my sister.
I was still holding on to this friend zone up to three weeks, until one thing stroke me. The way he kept asking me whether I love him or not was stuck in my head. Did I love him? or Did I just have a crush on him? If I did, would it be worth it?
I came to a conclusion that I did not love him. It was all sweet at the beginning, but it ended with I’m losing my world. I felt that we were not compatible at all. He held me back from the people I love which makes me pretty upset. If it was love, he would see me being concern with all this stuff. I decided to end things with him. What I meant was “let’s stay being friend”.
From the moment I told him that, I was relieved. I was happier than I thought I would be. The right answer to my question is if I was truly in love with him, I would not be relieved when I let go of him.
So here some tips for you to think whether “Let it Go” is the best solution for you.
1. Does the thing or the person that you want to let it go hold you back from the people you love?
(Thing could be your works, your games, your habits, grudge, anger, sadness, depression, distraught, pain, or anything. Person could be anyone, but not your spouse, your parents, and your children <basically close family>, because for these you might have to have another way to solve it)
If yes, then go to number 2.
2. Can you come out with a solution?
Is there any other solution that you can come up with? Usually for every problem, there are more than one solution. You just have to choose wisely.
3. How does that thing or that person response back to the problem?
If there was another solution, how that thing or that person work out the solution? If it works out well, then you don’t need to let it go. But if don’t you need to let it go.
Think again, How that thing or that person response to the problem. If it comes out with any solution, does it solve the problem? Let say your workplace came out with a solution that they gave you more day off so you have time with your family. Or perhaps your girlfriend understand the problem and she came up with a solution that two of you can work it out together. In this case, you don’t need to let it go.
Sometimes, you need to ask your self, does that thing do any good for you? For example, if you’re holding a grudge toward others, does the grudge do any good for you? No, because the grudge makes you upset everyday. If a thing does not do any good for you then you have to let it go.
4. When you let it go, how do you feel?
Those who chose to let it go, how do you feel now? Better? Relieved?
If not, don’t give up, because you need to truly let it go. Even if the case was love, because when you love someone, you have to let him/her go. You will be happy when you see him/her happy, right?
5. Move on and Enjoy your life!
Keep in mind that your life is better without it or him or her. Move on and enjoy your life. YOLO !
Let’s give it a try and let me know how you do it !
LET IT GO AND BE HAPPY 🙂
~ girl in pink dress